Friday, January 28, 2011

Domestic Violence. Is it worth it?


Working in the Emergency Department in Malaysia we receive cases like domestic violence, child abuse and rape as well. I don't know about other countries though. It's heart breaking when we listen to their experiences first hand especially by the beaten and battered ones. However when it comes to rape cases, we don't really entertain all of their emotions well since most of the time they are not really genuine rape cases. Most of the time they are just annoying little kids who prefer to come half naked to the hospital (even though they were not recently raped) and heavy make up with no guilt on their faces and have been having that sort of fun sex even at young age as early as 11 years old with kids their age or whoever they want and probably have done it a thousand times or more and who are actually proud of what they did. Yeah we know, we do perform the examinations so we know. But don't get me wrong. Of course we have empathy and sympathy towards girls who were actually raped like real real rape. Not just by definition rape.

Domestic violence don't just happen among the poor, the uneducated couples or the problem gambling. Some couples went through tough times especially when there are no more love between them and no more respect towards each other. It's scary to even start thinking about building a family of my own after seeing the real picture here in the hospital. A woman who have been married for 3-5 years came to me one day and told me she was beaten by her husband and his friend in public one night. I asked her why did that happen? What was she doing? What was causing the aggravation? Her story was something like this. She's a working lady. Probably careered by the way she dressed up. Her husband has told her that she cannot socialize with her friends too late at night and at that time she was out with her friends until 2 am in the morning. And she was out with some guy friends and a girlfriend. I guess the husband had some doubt about her honesty and loyalty so he beat her up right there and then.

I guess we can never predict the future. You might be in love one day and the next day you may wake up next to a serial killer! (hehe..maybe that only happen in movies - i sure hope its only in movies and not in real life) Building a life is hard. To build a family is harder. But it's just a cycle of life that has been going on since the day Adam and Eve were sent to earth. And it must go on. Being in love is beautiful. The thing that holds everything together is even more beautiful and i think that thing is trust.

I wish all the best when it comes to love and life. I know some people have to experience rough patch one after the other in their life. But success isn't a destination. It's a journey.

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