A few days back my college dean spoke a few words regarding to what he expects us to be, to do,to become.It had a good opening but how he ended his speech keeps me wondering, thinking a little more.He was asking us why did we take up medicine.He told us to let our hearts out on an essay on why did we take up medicine.In his speech he mentioned that these essays will be read by our lecturers who then will grade us on our "maturity" that they assume we own based on our answers on why we chose this career.
He commented on some of the essays the seniors wrote before this.He said that he thinks those who answered that they chose this path because 'they want to help the sick',' to be the curer', 'to be on their side when they need u most', are immature in their thinking.At first I had not much to say against it as I was thinking that he might be saying that because he was so bored of reading almost the same answers from everybody.Almost like they were stereotypes.
But when I was in the bus just now I over heard my friends talking about this matter.One was saying that our dean should have not said something like that at all.Because it is one's own dream and one's own decision and one's own faith in what one believes in.He couldn't have commented on what is right and what is wrong.What is mature and what is not.It is someone's dream.And I thought to myself.Why did I chose this career.I didn't fail maths.I was brilliant in maths.I love to design.I colud have taken up architecture.I'm a good singer.I could have been a singer if I want to.I could have been anything else other than chosing to be a doctor.
Then I remembered.Right after I finished my A level my dad had a little chat with me.He is a great man.A great father who is my idol.Someone I look up to highly.An Anesthetist.An honest practitioner.He told me to take up medicine.He gave me some practical reasons why he asked me to study medicine.He said that a doctor is the profession that has high demand.They have the power.They have the money.They are well respected only by having that Dr. title on his or her name.Doctors' names are so established and they receive full attention whenever a doctor opens up their mouth to speak even the tiniest things.They are highly appreciated in any way possible.I just had to agree.
But then he told me the real reason why he chose to be a doctor.To be who he is now.He said he wanted to make his family proud of him.Not by the money and fame.But for his deeds.He said he feels relieved seeing the patient under him progressing well and better.He feels like he is closer to God more than anything else to have experianced God's creations by learning medicine.It's not just by memorizing the whole book.But how well you are to the people around you,how well you treat them as a human being who always crave for tender,love and care.And that feeling to have helped a soul and the family is just unimaginable.
He has been practising for more than 30 years perhaps.And I can see how his patients appreciate him deeply.This I think reflected on his honest work.His honest effort.His dream which he had developed since his childhood days.Never had he been a greedy man.To think of money and fame,the title.Money and fame fades off if you are not careful.But knowing how much people appreciate you and words spreading telling what a wonderful being you are to another sick soul lasts forever.That is definate.
I did not choose this path because my father told me to take up medicine.I did not choose to be a doctor because of the fame and money and whatever worldy this title will soon deliver me to.I am studying medicine because I hold on firmly to what I believe in.And I believe in my childhood dream.It has always been my dream to see babies born safely to the world.I have conducted deliveries of my kittens since I was 10.And that feeling I had everytime my cats give birth to wonderful kittens touched my heart deeply which I cannot explain.And to imagine me conducting a human delivery,and have the baby in my hands,I do not have words to express how wonderful that would be.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
22/01/06 sunday
It's a lazy sunday for me today =)
Got up early but later decided to gulp more cough syrup to put me to sleep.Hehe.After getting up and feeling so guilty I decided to do a little light reading on pediatrics.
Growth and development of a child are two very interesting topics.In a man's eyes their growth are just something amusing and entertaining.Especially when we get to hear their first word.Or being so excited to see them able to take their first step away from the couch.But some children were not born as perfect as you and I were brought up to be.
A few days back a baby girl was born with broken bones and joints.These fractures were of unknown causes.Usually cases such as these are due to genetic inheritant.But in this family,there were no known family members who had this defect before.It was not detected earlier during the pregnancy.And when the baby was brought out of the uterus she was crying excessively and all her limbs were not moving.And they are bowed.The baby feels pain whenever the limbs move and she has not much chance to survive for long.She can be treated with surgery to repair her fractured bones.But she still has poor prognosis even after the surgery is successfuly done.
It was so sad for us and the doctors to see the baby crying and could not do anything much to help the baby.All that was to be done was just to giver her some pain killers to help her ease the pain and nothing more.Studying medicine makes me feel insecured and afraid of a lot of things.I dont know how I am going to be like once I'm pregnant.I'll be so scared all the time =( always so worried.
Got up early but later decided to gulp more cough syrup to put me to sleep.Hehe.After getting up and feeling so guilty I decided to do a little light reading on pediatrics.
Growth and development of a child are two very interesting topics.In a man's eyes their growth are just something amusing and entertaining.Especially when we get to hear their first word.Or being so excited to see them able to take their first step away from the couch.But some children were not born as perfect as you and I were brought up to be.
A few days back a baby girl was born with broken bones and joints.These fractures were of unknown causes.Usually cases such as these are due to genetic inheritant.But in this family,there were no known family members who had this defect before.It was not detected earlier during the pregnancy.And when the baby was brought out of the uterus she was crying excessively and all her limbs were not moving.And they are bowed.The baby feels pain whenever the limbs move and she has not much chance to survive for long.She can be treated with surgery to repair her fractured bones.But she still has poor prognosis even after the surgery is successfuly done.
It was so sad for us and the doctors to see the baby crying and could not do anything much to help the baby.All that was to be done was just to giver her some pain killers to help her ease the pain and nothing more.Studying medicine makes me feel insecured and afraid of a lot of things.I dont know how I am going to be like once I'm pregnant.I'll be so scared all the time =( always so worried.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
21/01/06
It's been a while since I last blog.I've been busy lately with postings.Now im posted to pediatrics ward.It's fun in this field.But I don't think I'll be taking up this field.Now I'm posted in OPD department and I get to see and play with babies and little children everyday.I have to bring colourful toys to distract the children when examinations are done on them.Most of the children here have lower respiratory tract infection since India is so dusty.I just hope something can be done about this.
There's a new subject taught to us called palliative medicine.Here they emphesize on communication skills.Some might think that it's a stupid subject to be taught but come to think of it, I think I'm having some communication problems too.It is always a problem for me to voice out my feelings especially when someone is hurting me.I tend to just let them be and I keep things to myself too often and every thing just accumulate and one day it will blow off so badly.But I just dont dare to voice out much since I'm afraid of the outcome.
It's a real headache when I try to keep things to myself cos it hurts so much.I always try to see things from the better side.I always try to.So that at least that cheer me up and I get to take my mind off things that are bothering me so much.The negative things.And I always tell myself to keep my cool and believe in what I believe in.And one day I surely will be getting what i deserve and what I've wished for.Maybe even better =)
There's a new subject taught to us called palliative medicine.Here they emphesize on communication skills.Some might think that it's a stupid subject to be taught but come to think of it, I think I'm having some communication problems too.It is always a problem for me to voice out my feelings especially when someone is hurting me.I tend to just let them be and I keep things to myself too often and every thing just accumulate and one day it will blow off so badly.But I just dont dare to voice out much since I'm afraid of the outcome.
It's a real headache when I try to keep things to myself cos it hurts so much.I always try to see things from the better side.I always try to.So that at least that cheer me up and I get to take my mind off things that are bothering me so much.The negative things.And I always tell myself to keep my cool and believe in what I believe in.And one day I surely will be getting what i deserve and what I've wished for.Maybe even better =)
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Wednesday 3/1/06
It is not too late for me to wish every readers out there a Happy and Prosperous new year :)
I've been very busy with medicine postings and I am looking forward for weekends.I'm so going to spoil myself this weekend.
Today there was a new admission of acute gastroenteritis a.k.a food poisoning.We've had a lot of that this week.Now I'm posted to male and female ICU wards.The male patients are very co operative and most of them do understand english so they didnt give much problems to me and my friends.But the female patients always give us problems and I think they were being so unfair.So my friends and I had to bribe them by buying them chocolates,biscuits and fruits :)
I'm enjoying my time here.At least I've learned a lot and I can't wait to learn more.But every time I'm presenting a case I will be worried and stressed out.I guess that's just so normal :)
I've been very busy with medicine postings and I am looking forward for weekends.I'm so going to spoil myself this weekend.
Today there was a new admission of acute gastroenteritis a.k.a food poisoning.We've had a lot of that this week.Now I'm posted to male and female ICU wards.The male patients are very co operative and most of them do understand english so they didnt give much problems to me and my friends.But the female patients always give us problems and I think they were being so unfair.So my friends and I had to bribe them by buying them chocolates,biscuits and fruits :)
I'm enjoying my time here.At least I've learned a lot and I can't wait to learn more.But every time I'm presenting a case I will be worried and stressed out.I guess that's just so normal :)
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