PROSTATE CANCER

I'm so tired now. My back is aching because I was carrying 18L of water into my room. This is what I do once a week. It's my water supply to drink. I'm so used to drinking reversed osmosis water and now I just can't drink normal tap water anymore because it taste so different from RO water.

I went to hospital today and was alloted a case as usual. Today the patient was a male patient of 73 years old. He was educated by the way he talked to me. He was diagnosed to have prostate cancer since 4 years back. And sadly the cancer cells has spread to other organs in his body including his bones. Now he's having severe pain whenever he moves. He was telling me that he is ready to go. But he wants to leave this world peacefuly. It was sad to know that his body is being eaten up by the cancer cells slowly but surely. He was being very strong. And he kept repeating that he is willing to die anytime at all.

Prostate is a gland found only in males. Most of the prostate enlargements are of benign type. Easier way to describe it is that it is nothing to be worried about. But if you are unlucky, it might be a malignant (something to be very worried about).

This problem can affect any men. Mosly of age 50 and above. Early detetction is important. The first symptom that you should be aware is increased in frequency of micturition especially at night. There are other symptoms such as when you feel urgency in micturition and that you are not very satisfied with the urination that when you feel there are still more urine in your bladder only that it is not coming out. Also poor ejaculation. If this happens to you then you will have to go straight away to the doctor.

11/04/06 tuesday

Finally, I get my own internet access in my room and now that its day off today. It's been hectic life over here. The patients in the hospital are much nicer and sweeter and more co-operative. But the lecturers, well let me put it this way, no words to describe =)

Lets just hope i will get through this.

Sunday26/02/06

5 more days then I'll be home =) I can't wait.Last night I was at my neighbour's house.She's also my tailor.She has a husband and 2 children.A 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy.I was talking with them for about 2 hours last night.About stuff.About life and about Malaysia and India and about their 2 children.Had lots of fun talking to them.I'm going to miss them once I leave.

tuesday 07/02/06

A hot hot day today.I just got back from second day of psychiatry posting.It was a little more interesting today.We got to see a patient.He spoke English so at least we can really evaluate him and get to understand his problems better.

He was 74years old.He came in with a wide smile on his face.He introduced himslef to us and he was telling us about his family.And his friend who is in the navy.I don't know if that was real or it was all in his mind.But he was a happy lot.Before he left he blessed us and sang to us.

The ward was depressing actually.They had bars all over but after a while I learned that here in this ward there are all kinds of mental illnesses/disorders.Most patients here are under depression and they might attempt suicide any time.There was one patient I saw who showed her face on the door and was asking me to open up the door for her.She appeared normal and I first thought that she was normal.Until I realised that she was having a different tone.And immediately I had goosebumps and got scared =P

I sms my dad and told him that I'm posted in pediatric ward.He reminded me that he met my mom is psychiatry ward.Haha.It was funny how they met.My dad was doing his posting then and my mom was working there as a nurse that time =) I wonder how I'm to meet my future husband.(sigh...)

6/02/06 monday

I've completed my pediatrics posting last week.Now I'm posted in psychiatry wards.There was no patients today.A boring day in that centre.Hopefuly there will be something exciting coming up soon.I haven't yet experianced or imagine anything thrilling in this subject of clinical medicine.But quite a lot whom I know are looking forward into specializing in this stream.

Exactly 1 month from now I will soon be home!For good!God I just can't wait.I will miss Manipal for sure.It's a good place to study.It really is.It may have made me cursed a begizillion times to have chose this place but after looking back at things,I can proudly say that this place makes me be me.And I get to know myself a lot better.

The Reason

A few days back my college dean spoke a few words regarding to what he expects us to be, to do,to become.It had a good opening but how he ended his speech keeps me wondering, thinking a little more.He was asking us why did we take up medicine.He told us to let our hearts out on an essay on why did we take up medicine.In his speech he mentioned that these essays will be read by our lecturers who then will grade us on our "maturity" that they assume we own based on our answers on why we chose this career.

He commented on some of the essays the seniors wrote before this.He said that he thinks those who answered that they chose this path because 'they want to help the sick',' to be the curer', 'to be on their side when they need u most', are immature in their thinking.At first I had not much to say against it as I was thinking that he might be saying that because he was so bored of reading almost the same answers from everybody.Almost like they were stereotypes.

But when I was in the bus just now I over heard my friends talking about this matter.One was saying that our dean should have not said something like that at all.Because it is one's own dream and one's own decision and one's own faith in what one believes in.He couldn't have commented on what is right and what is wrong.What is mature and what is not.It is someone's dream.And I thought to myself.Why did I chose this career.I didn't fail maths.I was brilliant in maths.I love to design.I colud have taken up architecture.I'm a good singer.I could have been a singer if I want to.I could have been anything else other than chosing to be a doctor.

Then I remembered.Right after I finished my A level my dad had a little chat with me.He is a great man.A great father who is my idol.Someone I look up to highly.An Anesthetist.An honest practitioner.He told me to take up medicine.He gave me some practical reasons why he asked me to study medicine.He said that a doctor is the profession that has high demand.They have the power.They have the money.They are well respected only by having that Dr. title on his or her name.Doctors' names are so established and they receive full attention whenever a doctor opens up their mouth to speak even the tiniest things.They are highly appreciated in any way possible.I just had to agree.

But then he told me the real reason why he chose to be a doctor.To be who he is now.He said he wanted to make his family proud of him.Not by the money and fame.But for his deeds.He said he feels relieved seeing the patient under him progressing well and better.He feels like he is closer to God more than anything else to have experianced God's creations by learning medicine.It's not just by memorizing the whole book.But how well you are to the people around you,how well you treat them as a human being who always crave for tender,love and care.And that feeling to have helped a soul and the family is just unimaginable.

He has been practising for more than 30 years perhaps.And I can see how his patients appreciate him deeply.This I think reflected on his honest work.His honest effort.His dream which he had developed since his childhood days.Never had he been a greedy man.To think of money and fame,the title.Money and fame fades off if you are not careful.But knowing how much people appreciate you and words spreading telling what a wonderful being you are to another sick soul lasts forever.That is definate.

I did not choose this path because my father told me to take up medicine.I did not choose to be a doctor because of the fame and money and whatever worldy this title will soon deliver me to.I am studying medicine because I hold on firmly to what I believe in.And I believe in my childhood dream.It has always been my dream to see babies born safely to the world.I have conducted deliveries of my kittens since I was 10.And that feeling I had everytime my cats give birth to wonderful kittens touched my heart deeply which I cannot explain.And to imagine me conducting a human delivery,and have the baby in my hands,I do not have words to express how wonderful that would be.

22/01/06 sunday

It's a lazy sunday for me today =)

Got up early but later decided to gulp more cough syrup to put me to sleep.Hehe.After getting up and feeling so guilty I decided to do a little light reading on pediatrics.

Growth and development of a child are two very interesting topics.In a man's eyes their growth are just something amusing and entertaining.Especially when we get to hear their first word.Or being so excited to see them able to take their first step away from the couch.But some children were not born as perfect as you and I were brought up to be.

A few days back a baby girl was born with broken bones and joints.These fractures were of unknown causes.Usually cases such as these are due to genetic inheritant.But in this family,there were no known family members who had this defect before.It was not detected earlier during the pregnancy.And when the baby was brought out of the uterus she was crying excessively and all her limbs were not moving.And they are bowed.The baby feels pain whenever the limbs move and she has not much chance to survive for long.She can be treated with surgery to repair her fractured bones.But she still has poor prognosis even after the surgery is successfuly done.

It was so sad for us and the doctors to see the baby crying and could not do anything much to help the baby.All that was to be done was just to giver her some pain killers to help her ease the pain and nothing more.Studying medicine makes me feel insecured and afraid of a lot of things.I dont know how I am going to be like once I'm pregnant.I'll be so scared all the time =( always so worried.

21/01/06

It's been a while since I last blog.I've been busy lately with postings.Now im posted to pediatrics ward.It's fun in this field.But I don't think I'll be taking up this field.Now I'm posted in OPD department and I get to see and play with babies and little children everyday.I have to bring colourful toys to distract the children when examinations are done on them.Most of the children here have lower respiratory tract infection since India is so dusty.I just hope something can be done about this.

There's a new subject taught to us called palliative medicine.Here they emphesize on communication skills.Some might think that it's a stupid subject to be taught but come to think of it, I think I'm having some communication problems too.It is always a problem for me to voice out my feelings especially when someone is hurting me.I tend to just let them be and I keep things to myself too often and every thing just accumulate and one day it will blow off so badly.But I just dont dare to voice out much since I'm afraid of the outcome.

It's a real headache when I try to keep things to myself cos it hurts so much.I always try to see things from the better side.I always try to.So that at least that cheer me up and I get to take my mind off things that are bothering me so much.The negative things.And I always tell myself to keep my cool and believe in what I believe in.And one day I surely will be getting what i deserve and what I've wished for.Maybe even better =)

Wednesday 3/1/06

It is not too late for me to wish every readers out there a Happy and Prosperous new year :)

I've been very busy with medicine postings and I am looking forward for weekends.I'm so going to spoil myself this weekend.

Today there was a new admission of acute gastroenteritis a.k.a food poisoning.We've had a lot of that this week.Now I'm posted to male and female ICU wards.The male patients are very co operative and most of them do understand english so they didnt give much problems to me and my friends.But the female patients always give us problems and I think they were being so unfair.So my friends and I had to bribe them by buying them chocolates,biscuits and fruits :)

I'm enjoying my time here.At least I've learned a lot and I can't wait to learn more.But every time I'm presenting a case I will be worried and stressed out.I guess that's just so normal :)

Friday 9/12/05

It's been a while since I last posted.I've been busy with OBG postings and exam.OBG is fun and I'm going to miss it once i start the next posting.

There are a few problems usually occuring during pregnancy such as hypertension and diabetes and this can cause problems to the baby inside the womb.And it also causes problems to the mother through out pregnancy itself and during labour.

So mothers do go for regular check up and be attentive when the doctors advice you.And be happy always =)

Saturday 26/11/05

It's Saturday again.But there are really not much difference between any other days.Seems the same to me.

I went to see a normal delivery 2 days ago.That was my first time seeing a baby delivered through the birth canal.It was amazing.When I reached the labour room the baby's head was already emerging from the uterine cervix.And then an incision had to be made to make the outlet bigger so that the baby can be pushed out faster.The mother was in so much pain and that remind me of my mother how much she have suffered to give birth to me.How much pain and agony there was for her cos she is a small woman with small frame and for small women there are more complications suffered by them.

After the baby was out he was quickly cleaned and handed over to the pediatrician to chek his status.Like his reflex,his breathing,his scrotum,palmar creases,etc.And soon was draped and handed over to the mother who sees him for the first time.That moment felt wonderful even to the eyes of the bystanders :)

And now I thank mo mother more than i ever can ever thank her for bringing me to life.

Oedema

It's FRIDAY!And boy am I glad.Last night I went for another singing practice and about 10 other friends were there to watch the practice.It went well.Cant wait till next weekend.

Today there's no morning posting since today is the Indian National Filariasis Day.And this means we are not seeing any patients today.Community medicine posting is fun but very tiring.But at least I have been doing quite a lot of practices doing the general examination and prescription writing.

Today I feel like mentioning something on edema.It means swelling.This swelling is not due to any bruise or bumps we seldom come across.But edema is usually associated with some very dangerous diseases like heart disease and kidney failure.Usually oedema occur in the legs where they are the more dependent parts of the body.The problem in oedema is that the heart is not able to pump the blood around the body as quickly as it should. This means there is a continual backlog of blood in the veins, and fluid seeps from the blood into the tissues,being concentrated by gravity in the lower legs.Some people may miss this and think that it is a normal thing or just you putting on weight and it is very important to look out for any signs of swellings on your body parts.

Oedema may be missed but it is very important that we all know a little about it.You might detetct some diseases at their early stages and this can prevent things from being too complicated at the end.

Monday 7/11/05

I went to another rural clinic today and here they also have a kindergarten in the same room.The room was small.About 15 to 20 children between 3 to 6 were there in the clinic/kindergarten and they were all so cute.There were these 3 little girls who were entertaining my friends and I when we were there.They asked us if they can dance and they were dancing and singing the whole time and they were just too cute!

Saturday 5/11/05

It's the 3rd day of Eid today.And I'm still very tired from cooking for the first 2 days of Eid.I had fun cooking.I love to cook.Yesterday I received 2 Eid cards from my family.1 was from mom and dad and another was from my 9 year old sister.She drew a picture of me and hers.And another picture of hers crying.She wrote next to it that she's crying because she misses me so much and I couldn't join her during Eid at home.I was deeply touched and I cried too.I miss my family too much now.

A day before Eid I went to visit the old folks home.It was a sad to see them.I get to chat with a few of them.None of them looked as if they are getting senile or anything.They were healthy and they were glad to have us as visitors.1 of the ladies was my classmate's grandmother and if anyone ever knew that I leave her there behind I surely will be so embarrased.

Most of the ladies and gents there lived alone before they came to this home.They are a little glad that they are in that home because they find it to be a much better place to be compared when they have to be all alone by themselves.We might think that it's inhumane to leave your old folks in this home but come to think of it.They might have a better life there.As they will have someone to talk to.Like being young again.Like us staying in hostels and mixing up with people our age.And I think most of them there think the same.

But there were a few who regretted it too much and they are just giving up hope to live.They are much too sad to be left out and sent there and never been visited by their own family members.It is most unfortunate and i hope never will I ever turn down my parents or any of my family members to any of these places.

Before we left we handed them gifts and 1 of the ladies gave me flowers that Indians use to stick into the hair bun and I tied it to my hair.It surely was a good experiance and I'm planning to go back there once again before i leave Manipal for good.

Monday31/10/05

I didn't get to go Goa for this holiday.Maybe I won't be going anywhere else here in India at all.And for sure I'm not going to take my parents tour this part of the earth anytime.The Goa plan got canceled because 2 hours before we were supposed to leave I got a call from mom.She told me not to go because there was a bridge that collapsed on top of a train and it went upside down or something like that.And the next day there were 3 bombings in Delhi and almost 100 died in the incidents.

And I'm just going to be stuck here not knowing what to do.I'm going to have to buy some story books so at least i can work back on my English.It's getting worse by day :P

Friday 28/10/05

It's Friday!!!Now I'm so happy because holiday starts tomorrow till next Tuesday.I'm planning to go to Goa.It's well known for the beaches and good food and heaven for those who boast a lot.

Today there was a patient who had a tumor in his bladder.He complained about passing urine in blood.That's a real major thing you should always be scared of when there is blood in urine with pain or without it.There are many causes for that,like tumor,infection,injuries.So be sure to go see a doctor the minute after you realise that you are passing blood in urine.

Can't wait to go Goa :P

Friday 20/10/05

I received the news about our lost of Datin Endon.It is deeply mourned.May God have mercy on her soul.

There was nothing much done today.I'm still trying to find out what song will be good to sing on the performance night.I'm feeling kinda bored today too.There was no new case today but we had a theory class(repetitive...how boring) on abdominal swelling.

I doubt we will be assigned to any new cases this afternoon too anyway.I'm just so happy that hari raya is just around the corner and I just hope my baju kurung will turn out fine :P

Inguinal Hernia

Today we had a new patient!Yay!.And that was just relieving.Today we were assigned to examine a male patient who came with swellings in his inguinal area.He was diagnosed to have inguinal hernia.

Hernia is abnormal protrusion of the abdominal content through a weak point in the body.The commonest hernia is inguinal hernia.Inguinal hernia are sometimes painless and can also be painful.The swelling in the inguinal region usually gradually increase in size.

Hernia is always associated with people who had to carry heavy things,chronic constipation,obstructive uropathy(obstruction of urinary tract),chronic cough and obesity.

There are some ways we can prevent hernia like doing sit ups and repetitive light exercises.This strengthen your muscles and tendons and the ligaments.And also the patient is adviced to stop smoking if he is a smoker because smoking cause the chronic cough and also causes collagen deficiency and this laxes the ligaments and precipitate hernia.

Some males may not know that they are actually having hernia when they see that the scrotum is enlarged.They may think that it's due to increased manliness instead it is not.

Treatment for hernia is only by surgery.And if you think you or your family member has one now,it's time to go for a check up :)

I'm getting tired now.Maybe cos i'm just feeling lazy.Oh and I have to keep reminding myself that I have my exam 7 days from now!And today I'm going to acompany my friend to go see a doctor cos her cervical lymph node is enlarged!I hope she is fine.After learning all the diseases in the world we get very scared even to see another doctor :(

Colon Cancer

Hey there.Today is another boring day for me.A sad and slow one too.There was nothing so interesting in the hospital for us too anyway.But at least we did get assigned to a patient who was diagnosed to have colon cancer.

He is a 65years.He came with a diffused swelling on his left side of the abdomen and the site was extremely painful.

Colon cancer usually occur in old age and is associated with infrequent defecation.Usually seen in people taking mixed diet because the meat we take tend to slow down the peristaltic movement of bowel(colon).

So to avoid this,you can add up more fresh vegetables and fuits and adequate water in your diet and try to make sure you visit the toilet everyday to bowel out.

The growing cancer can obstruct the lumen of the colon and this will cause severe pain and you will have an over distended abdomen.(ouch!)

And almost all cancers are related to your bad habit which is smoking.Remember,it's never to late to stop now :)

We didn't get to see the patient yet and hopefuly will be able to see him tomorrow.And we will get to learn how to palpate the swelling and learn many new things tomorrow :) I can't wait.

Saturday...Finally

Wow,what a tiring week it was.I'm sure glad that its now Saturday.Sunday will just slip away too fast and the moment you know it,its already Monday..sigh...and there goes the cycle of our days :)

I just downloaded some of minus ones my friend sent to me for my singing competition.I love singing.Cos I love to entertain people with my singing.I hope one day I can be well known with my singing and I will do some charity work with my talent.

But anyway,today we didnt do much during surgery posting.We went to the urology department and was introduced to some of the patients over there.There was a 35 year old male who had urinary retention.He had a spinal cord infection a few years back and it has affected his nervous system that controls his bladder action.Oh yeah,he had transverse myelitis.Poor guy,so you guys must make sure you wont get into any accidents like this.Must love your back.Cos thats where your spine and spinal cord is.Another patient had a hydronephrotic kidney.Here the kidney is enlarged and is filled with fluid because the urinary tract is blocked.So he had his kidney removed.He will survive with only one kidney but the poor surviving kidney will have to work really hard to compensate the loss.

And then we went to the ESML room where we saw a machine that is used to break off kidney stones without doing surgeries.But this procedure can only be done if the kidney stones are small.And later we were introduced to an ultrascan machine where we can see the organs in the body.And a friend of mine showed us her polycystic kidney that she has had since small.She has an autosomal dominant polycystic kidney disease (ADPKD) which her dad has got too.It was difficult to appreciate the kidney with the ultrascanner.But i did see the small balloon like structures at the poles of her kidneys.It was really something,to actually get to see all that right in front of you.But my friend is alright.She said she just have to keep calm and not be under stress or it may get worse.And the sad part is that theres no cure for it.

But i believe there is a cure for everything.And surely one day we will discover many things in medicine which may help save many more lives.But we all must try to prevent getting into any troubles.Remember,prevention is better than cure. :)

my first page

:) hello all..its a good day today...its drizzling out there and its cold in this cyber cafe im in now...hehe...so im deciding to write down some of the stuff i have in mind...now im in my 3rd year of M.B.B.S....3rd year is fun..cos now is the time when we start entering clinics and do postings...before this was only the theoretical part...but now..its the real patient to doctor part...all these years ive been told about this and that diseases...to do this and that to patient...but never yet have experianced the real thing...so im just so happy that i am now in 3rd year and have started a few surgery postings for the past few days...this is my new first step to being a good doctor..a good friend and a good daughter :)